How can I spice up my Valentine’s Day for Sex?

VALENTINE’S Day: Some people love it; some hate it; others feel terrorised into acknowledging it, lest they be deemed curmudgeonly, unromantic souls. Wherever you fall on that spectrum, however, there’s no avoiding Valentine’s Day. It’s easy to argue that nothing could be less romantic than the obligation to make a grand (and clichéd) gesture of love on a designated day, and some might say it’s more romantic to surprise your partner with a sign of your affection on any of the other 364 days the year has to offer.

However, as many couples in long-term relationships will concede, spontaneous fits of passion can eventually take a back-seat to work, kids, or taking out the bins, so why not join in the Valentine’s Day sex, and follow our top tips for squeezing some romance back into your relationship.

1. Single?

You can (and should) have some Athens call girls sexy fun anyway. This Valentine’s Day, celebrate your own innate sexiness, especially if you are single. Popular culture dictates that we must be coupled up to experience sexual pleasure, but nothing could be further from the truth. Make this day all about you and your sensuality. Take this chance to examine how much you know about your body, sexual fantasies, and what gives you pleasure. If you don’t regularly pleasure yourself, this may be the day for you to start. Or if you do, try a new way of touching yourself; explore areas of your body you don’t normally pay attention to; or imagine a new fantasy scenario while you masturbate. Curl up with a tasty treat and watch an erotic movie or read a naughty story. In short, give yourself permission to have sexy fun and enjoy yourself. Remember: you will always be the most important sex partner you’ll ever have.

2. Blindfolds

Sensory deprivation can make any familiar situation seem strange and new. Try using a scarf or sleep mask to block you or your partner’s vision; or better yet, try going sightless together. (Just be careful not to run into any walls on your way to the bedroom.) Try something new and unexpected. Valentine’s has become associated with boring cliches. Now is your chance to subvert this trend in your own life. Talk to your partner and see if he or she is open to trying something new this Valentine’s Day. It could be something as simple as a new sexual position. Or perhaps you’ll decide to try kissing differently, or exploring new erogenous zones on each other’s body. Perhaps there is a naughty fantasy that you’d like to play out. Why wait if you can both make it happen on Valentine’s Day? Before anything, make sure you get your partner’s consent, and agree to stay open minded and sensitive to each other’s needs and boundaries during your sexy experiment.

3. Use restraints

If you’ve always wondered what it would be like to be tied up, maybe it’s time to stop wondering and just go for it. Try using handkerchiefs or neckties to bind your partner’s hands and feet, and have fun going to town while he or she is at your mercy. Just be sure that you’re not hurting your partner’s wrists or ankles, and that he or she can get out if need be. Your first experimental time isn’t the time to go crazy with advanced knots or positions. If you do discover a new fascination for rope bondage, find yourself a solid guide for beginners, or better yet, look for a class at your local sex shop. *The More You Know star flies across screen*

4. Go silent or Speak up

Dare each other to be completely silent as you have sex. The injunction against noise will ramp up the tension and make you all the more aware of how much noise you want to be making. On the other hand, if you’re usually the quiet type in bed, challenge yourself to be more vocal than usual. If you’re worried about sounding silly, check out licensed sex psychotherapist Vanessa Marin’s advice about how to get started.

5. Take pictures (but be careful about it)

Have fun setting up a sexy boudoir shoot in your bedroom. If you’re worried about privacy (a very legitimate concern), buy yourself a Polaroid camera as a Valentine’s Day gift and go to town.

6. Play naked card games or Sexy Truth or Dare

Spend your evening playing strip poker. Or Strip Uno. Or Strip Monopoly. Just pick a game, make your own special naked rules, and play. Write questions about your partner’s fantasies, desires, and sexual history on bits of paper and throw them in a bowl. Pull slips of paper from the bowl, and either answer the question, or agree to a sexy (and possibly naked) dare.

7. Play with your toys

Forget flowers and chocolate—make a date of going to a sex store and picking out a new toy together. The process will probably be a little awkward, a little hilarious, and a lot hot. Play with your toys! I’ve mentioned that a lot of us are growing tired of the blatant consumerism of Valentine’s Day, but there is a way to channel that pressure to shop into something that will actually pay off: a quality sex toy. In the new episode of my podcast, Get Sex-Smart, a fellow sex coach and I share what you need to know about sex toys – including how to overcome resistance to them; how to have fun with them; and how to pick the best one for your needs.

If you feel hesitant, think of it as another sexy bonding experience with your partner. Visit a sex toy store together (like Good Vibrations for example), and take your time exploring the products. Today’s sex stores are brightly lit, non-threatening places with open-minded and well-educated staff who often have encyclopedic knowledge of their merchandise. If you don’t feel like going to a store or don’t have one near you, try the numerous websites such as the before mentioned Good Vibrations, Adam & Eve, Babeland, and others. Don’t forget that sex toys aren’t just dildoes and vibrators: you can purchase random fun things like massage oil; flavored lube; an erotic board game; blindfolds and cuffs; and much, much more. The key is having a playful attitude and opening up your horizons to the great variety of wonderful products available to take your sexual pleasure to a whole new level.

9. Watch porn together

If awesome sex events aren’t available in your area, make your own event by creating an at-home adult theatre. Sit down with your partner and discuss what you both want to watch. Don’t just turn on random Pornhub videos. That’s a nightmare waiting to happen. Talking about what you want to watch together will be a turn-on in itself.

10. Whatever your routine is, CHANGE IT

The real key to being adventurous in the sack is changing up your routine, even in ways that might seem relatively minor. If you always, always stay in the bedroom, go get it on in the kitchen. If you’re always a lights-out kind of person, flip those switches to ON! Have fun, you wild and crazy kid, you!

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